Adapting to two kids has been a challenge. I find myself wondering why I ever thought having just one kid was hard! Thankfully, I am part of an amazing marriage and my husband and I work very hard together to get through the learning curve. But sometimes you can't help but feel overwhelmed, like I did the first time I loaded both children into our chariot-sized double stroller and set foot in the mall. At Christmas time. Yikes!
However, my stressed started to melt away as strangers, dear sweet shoppers during the crazy holiday season, would stop and smile at me. They would remark that I had my hands full, and I would nod and smile. But then they would say something akin to, "But you've got this," or "You're doing great," or "they are such sweet kids," or "They really are blessings." Those people have no idea how much their kindness lifted my heart, reassured me that I would get through these crazy days of a demanding three year-old and a needy newborn. One sweet woman, after watching me struggle with keeping Little Buddy calm as we waited much too long to place our order in the food court (I have no idea what the people in front of me were ordering..a banquet maybe?) offered to bring our food to me at our table so I could just get the kids set up and not have to get up again. What an amazing gesture! I couldn't thank her enough! And as we sat there, Little Buddy eating nuggets and me nursing sister while also eating, we got so many compliments on how cute/sweet/well-mannered our little family was and how blessed we were. Each small gesture of support and kindness bolstered me up so much.
Then later, after a potty break for a cranky nap-needing Little Buddy, we had to stop and sit on a bench to feed sister. A woman walked into the bathroom and, as I moved my giant stroller so she could walk through, she gave me some of the best parenting advice that I've ever received. She talked a little with me and Little Buddy first, praising him for being a great big brother and giving me assurances and support like those throughout the day. But then, after being impressed with things Little Buddy told her, she told me, "They are such a blessing aren't they? And you always get back what you put in." I love that. And I am going to work very hard to practice that. If I put stress, anxiety, and a short temper in with my children, that's what I'll get back. I'm instead going to strive to put in calmness, gratitude, patience, and a remembrance of what a miracle my crazy, sweet family is. Because I would love to get that back. And I would love to keep all the sentiments I heard today alive in my heart and attitude.
Soon after that sweet lady left, Little Buddy fell asleep while I finished feeding Little Sweetie. I took a picture to remember the moment.
"You always get back what you put in."
So my mall trip ended up not being as crazy as I envisioned. And, later that week, after I had told my husband about my experience, we were all out to lunch together and experienced another moment of kindness. A family that was sitting near us told us, before they left, how sweet and well-behaved
our kids were. What a nice thing for them to say and what a nice thing
for us to hear after struggling with balancing our new roles as parents
of two.
So
remember, when you see a mom struggling with two kids, or anyone
struggling with anything for that matter, please be kind. You don't
have to do much, but it can make an impact. You never know how much
that kindness will mean to them, or how it can stay with them.
Sending you all kindness,
LBM
